What a fucking waste of an outfit
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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