alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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