I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
