Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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