Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize