Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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