oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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