You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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