drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Randomize
