dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
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he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
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He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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