Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
