I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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