he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
