You're completely useless in the revolution.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
