Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
