mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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