your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
