did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
