His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
