So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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