first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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