It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
