Your mouth is God's brothel.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
