and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I party with great urgency now.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
