That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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