u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
