Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
