So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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