You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
