I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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