Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
