trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I think my nap took me to another dimension
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
