i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
