last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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