arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Who died my cat blue again?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
