I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
