She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
