So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
