Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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