hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Randomize
