And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
