I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
