I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
