They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
