We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
