yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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