Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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