I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.