he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
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I have no recollection of sleep choking you
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
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I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
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