I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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