You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
