I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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