i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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