My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
