i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Text me some of your sweat
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
