Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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