i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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