Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
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