i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
