then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
