I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
