we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
