i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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