you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
