Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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