how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
